A lot has change in the past few days... My grandfather passed away yesterday. He fell outside that night while taking the trash out and was found that morning. By the time he got to the hospital his body temperature was down to 70 degrees and they tried to bring it back up and once it reached 90 degrees, he had a heart attack and they couldn't bring him back. It has been hard but I know he is in a better place now with my grandmother and my Mama. So he is happy now. No longer lonely. But it still hurts to know he is no longer here.
So this year I have been quite the slacker... I have not put up a tree or any lights... the neighbors put some lights around our apartment but I have not done anything. My reasoning behind this is not that I am a bah-hum-bug but we have such a smaller area now with our apt that I have wanted to wait until next Christmas when I could really go all out. I know, that is really selfish... if it makes any difference I had my son color a Christmas tree.... I have just been in a little bit of a slump...
My Mimi died 3 years ago and lately I have been thinking alot about her. The other day I was at my Papa's house and I asked him about her ring... what ever happened to it. He didn't know. I had always wanted that ring to have when I was married and to pass down... and I know that is so selfish but well needless to say he doesn't know where it is and doesn't know who has it. So it kind of bummed me out because I dont want to ask any of my family about it... whoever has it wanted it and probably would not have any sympathy for my wants... So I have just been kind of down about the lot of it.
But this Christmas is one of my favorites because I have someone who loves me and wants to be with me.
So needless to say I am happy. And loved.
Just the thoughts for the day...
R.I.P Mimi. I miss you and love you!
This is me, my little sister, My mommy (R.I.P) and my Mimi (R.I.P.)
So today has been such a long day… Didn’t get hardly any sleep last night and then today I was lookin around on myspace and remembered a few things.
September 24, 2007 A friend of mine, whom I had known since we were kids was killed. Murdered. Before that, I had never really known anyone who had been murdered. And then, all of a sudden I did. We were really close as kids… untill I started dating this guy (mind you, we were in maybe 6th grade) that she liked and it was war then. But we made up. Right before she died we had started talking again. And then one day, I got a phone call that she had been murdered.
I went to her funeral but shut off all of my feelings. I was with my ex and my parents and I can’t be real in front of my parents. I left quickly because of my ex, he didn’t wanna stay. So instead of mourning, I ran away from the pain. They asked people who knew her to stand up and say some things to her or about her… I should have stood up. I should have stood up and said
“Tiffany, you should be here now! I’m sorry we fought. I’m sorry for breaking the girls rule, never date a guy yur friend likes. Im sorry you are gone and we are still here. Im sorry that we never got a chance to finally get together and put the past where it belonged. I remember you, with braces, playing at church, running around at church camp and your smile. Your big smile. “
Thats what I should have said. I should not have sat in silence… I should not have left.
I think it is time for me to visit her.
She would have been 22 this year, December 7th was her Birthday.
Time goes so quickly.
So hug the ones you love, tell them how much you love them and never let a day go by where you don’t do something that one day you will regret not doing…
This has been bugging me... There was a story, it must have been a few years back, about a little boy who was shaken by his nanny and was in the hospital. They did all sorts of things and then finally he was taken home.... he was not well though... i want to say he was in a coma. and now I can not remember his name and I reallly wanted to find out what happened to this innocent baby!?! Did he survive? Can he speak? Can he see? Can he walk or crawl? It has been driving me insane not to be able to remember his name... I know there was a Myspace page for him... but his name!?!!?!
So it seems lately there are only a few things that I have been doing. One would be school. Final week for this quarter so I have been trying to get everything done. Second would be Christmas, Christmas and Christmas. I have been finding last minute gifts and buying and wrapping and laddy da! I love the spirit of Christmas but hate the money aspect of it. Now I know why my mom used to buy gifts in July... But I could never keep my gifts a secret long enough... And then lately it seems my son has been sick or in bad mood. Gotta love 3 year olds. So needless to say, it has been hectic here. But I did get great gifts for my son and my boyfriend and maybe I will get myself one now :) Time to finish the school work.
Today was a pretty laid back and interesting day... My son does his "business" in the potty like a big boy... YAY! (We have been struggling with a part of that #2 potty thing...) So that was a wonderfully good step!! Then it is nap time... he was sleeping kind of late so I went upstairs to go wake him up and first of all I was hit by this terrible smell... then I take a look at what I see and it looks like it has snowed in his room... So I wake him up, clean him up give him a bath and all that jazz and walk back into his room to assess the damage.... He took the time and effort and destuffed a pillow... and it was ALL over his room... for real? At first I thought he had pulled it out of his comforter and after some investigating realized it was this arm pillow... So I made him stuff his pillow back. He thought this was a game! While he is talking to himself and laughing I am standing there a little peeved that he thinks it is just fun and games. He takes the time to pull it out and the funny part to me was that he had to put it all back in but he didn't care. What the blank was he thinking?!? The things kids do... Gotta love it. Another day in the life of me!
She was on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew... and I thought it was so blanking real... for some of these people to go on this show and show their problems to help other people.... to face their problems head on and fix them.
It takes a person a lot of guts to do things like this and for that I give Kudos!
Ever realize you have an addiction to something... just an everyday way of life.... maybe a habit...
Things such as making a pot of coffee first thing in the morning, knowing you will only drink 3 cups, or checking your email as soon as you walk within 10 feet of the computer, or something as simple as running to the bathroom first thing in the morning before your significant other gets in there...
Well I have come to realize my new addiction, habit, whatever you want to call it is Bones... Not like that you blanking sickos! Bones, the TV show... I got my boyfriend addicted to this habit also. He wants to get off work early to come home and watch Bones. I bought him Season 4 for Christmas but gave it to him early so we could watch it together. Then we got Season 3 to watch, another supposed Christmas present. Then he went out and bought Season 1 and now I guess the next move will be 2...
But this is our habit. Every night no matter how late he comes home, we watch Bones. It is a nice habit though because it is kind of our time. I know, cheesy right!
But hey we all have out own blanking habits and addictions and obsessions.... some are worse than others. Some are drugs or alcohol... Ours is the television show Bones ;-)
I have realized that my son tried to run me over with everything he does and now I am determined to fight back :)
He may hate me for a bit but that is ok. I'm his mommy not his best friend... I'm here to raise him into a good and responsible young adult... A good man that respects woman. He is only 3 but it is those little things that start now that need to be dealt with.
This should be fun...
2007--Tis The Season!
That is before Boot Camp Mommy.... :) He might not be so smiley with me after ... Such is life!
I have been stuck in the house for 3 days.... ready to go insane... Went to start my car the other day and it was dead... just went click, click, click... what the BLANK!
So today someone finally gave me a jump because I was so desperate to get out of the house, and I go to the auto place and they tell me I am going to need a new battery... which will cost me almost 90 bucks.... but I guess sometimes we have to do what we have to do... Merry Christmas on that note. Sigh.
But a good thing is, Santa is bringing my little man some very good gifts thanks to the help of my wonderful family. So that was a relief for me. Brings less stress. Ever since I stopped working to work on school I have been so stressed... mainly because I'm not used to being able to sleep in and not go to work... but it is truly a blessing to stay home with my son... but anyways.
Time to get back to school :)
Here is a Pic from Halloween... A little late but I came across it and just thought how cute he is! My little bumblebee!
So as of late I have been working on potty training my son. This has NOT been an easy feat. With the Monet paintings on the walls, and the wet pants and cleaning sheets almost everyday, today seemed to be a turning point for him.
He has been wearing underwear everyday but usually sleeps in a pull up. So we decided to stop the pull up's recently. Knowing that I will be cleaning towels, sheets and the bed. But that;s ok. That is what happens.
So today he is supposed to be taking a nap and well, as usual, he wasn't. He was doing everything possible to get out of taking a nap. So finally I gave up and said "Come on T, let's go check the mail" only to be answered by the response "I can't". "Well son, come on why can't you?" "I wipin my butt". So I run upstairs expecting a mess only to find that the bathroom door has been locked! So i pry the lock and go in and there he is wipin his own butt. I ask him "Why are you wipin your butt?" and he says "because I like wipin my butt"! I try to help him and he says "No mommy I like wipin my own butt"... Meanwhile I am gagging from the smell but laughing uncontrollably... he asks "Why you laughing mommy" and all I could say was "Because"...
So of course once he is finished doing it himself, about 20 wipeys later, he allows me to help, while I am still laughing. We finish and he goes "Mommy I wiped my own butt, I big boy now?" And so the laughing begins again....
Needless to say he of course got a lollipop for his wonderful efforts and a sticker on the potty chart...
Not quite a Bad blanking story but definitely in need of a "Oh blank!"